No, he knows where he is going and what he is looking for. Probably. Maybe. Don’t worry, he’ll let you know if he needs something. It always will be upon his request and never at your offer. Such a waste of time.
He has never been welcoming to the feeling of uncertainty. Worse, he is dismissive of it. In the moment, he will often not even
recognize it – not unlike blacking out. And for far too long, he was naive enough, no, obtuse enough to believe that because he didn’t recognize it, no one else did either.
Why does he insist on insisting that he needs no assistance? Why must he always be right, or at the least, the first to recognize his own mistake. God forbid another beats him to it.
It’s tiresome. The man knows he sets a low ceiling with these habits. He who leads with “I know” does not learn.
Why does he always say that? He knows so little. He’s the first to admit his shortcomings in hindsight. But in the moment? On the spot? He always” knows.” He is never lost. He finds a way to conjure an answer. He finds a way to look stronger, smarter, or better. He lies. Why does he lie?
He used to wish he wasn’t this way and he used to wish it many times a day. He is done wishing. Wishing is a lofty dream to soothe the brain. Dreaming is for sleeping – and he is not yet tired.
The man wants to change. No. Too vague. He wants to get lost. He wants to get lost and he wants to force himself to admit that he is lost.
And then he wants to ask for directions.