it comes when you least expect it. it is the present. and when it comes you can’t protest it. you’re too busy looking ahead. or looking back. but then it’s there and then you’re living. and now you’re alive. and maybe more than that. maybe you thrive. the present. i should look to it more…

remember to forget that you’re not.present. safe. capable of joy. remember that it will always get worse.know that no matter what you do, a feeling not felt is only ever the kind that hurts. remember you have to be somewhere else. don’t forget to always worry.whatever it is that you’re doing now,it will surely have…

I knew what I was doing. I still do. I have to lead with that assurance, although I’m not sure who for. My past self rolled the dice. He gambled with his decision. He knew what he was doing when he cut me loose into the present I find myself in. He knew it’d be…

I wish it was my second. No, not so that I can know another first. Although, that would be quite nice. If I was naive to the english language, I would not be able to pull synonyms and metaphors to mask my truth whenever I spoke. I would be naked with each word. I would…

In fact, you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to be hopeful.You don’t have to pessimistic.You don’t have to not cry.You don’t have to sit back and watch the days go by. You don’t have to be angry.You don’t have to remain kind.You don’t have to stay quiet.You don’t have to speak your…

I think I need to steal more. And better. I need to steal more and steal better. And to stop feeling so bad about it. More than anything, though, I need to steal from the right people. The people I admire. The people I care about. The people that make me feel worthy of love.…

Strengths exist to cover weaknesses. I know that. I’ve always known it. I guess I stopped looking for my weaknesses in the right places. They’re right where they’ve always been: Underneath the rocks I stand on. The ones that make me feel taller. Better. One day, one of those rocks wasn’t making me feel better.…

I’ve never allowed myself a certainty until now. I’ve had dreams. Tons of them. Dreams are soothing and fun and they cost very little time. They can exist in possibility without asking anything of reality. Work is not so daunting if it’s hypothetical. Wait. I just realized I skipped a step. After dream, but before…

I have a bad question. It’s long borne from a set of parallel truths that I regularly fail to separate. I think I know the answer, too, but it always evades me. Those truths blend together at the worst of time – blurring through tears and into a single line: Is it worse to realize…

I want to tell every person I am leaving how much they mean to me and at the same time I know I will never find the time, nor thebravery, to do so. I want to cry. I want to be happy in the place that I am but I know I am not. I…