I woke up sad today and so I took a walk. It was a long walk and it did not have any clear objective. I avoided places I have walked before and I did not seek directions.
I wandered.
I miss wandering. It’s a hard thing to do these days. Maps have done away with the unknown. They inform rigid paths and curb discovery.
The little wandering I still do is the faux kind. It is the kind confined to storefronts and online catalogues and attached to a wallet. It’s the virtual kind of wandering that I fall victim to so often. Scrolling down. Swiping right. It’s all the same aimless search. It’s yucky. I feel foolish and taken advantage of.
My innate urge to passively search has been stifled and monetized. I wander with my wallet and my thumbs and never with my feet. What happened?
Young children get to wander. It’s beautiful. Curiosity carries their stumbling feet through every open door. Watch a child’s face as they wander. They turn every corner with wide eyes. Wide eyes full of wonder.
I miss that feeling dearly. I am complicit in leaving it behind and I want to find it again.
I want to walk without destination. I want to not know. I want to look without looking for. I want for these things urgently and I want for them often.
Maybe I need them.