i want to cry.

I want to tell every person I am leaving how much they mean to me and at the same time I know I will never find the time, nor the
bravery, to do so.


I want to cry.


I want to be happy in the place that I am but I know I am not. I have wished and wished and it has not been granted.


I want to cry.


I am going to be alone. Alone in a way that I have never been
before. I will have to say hello and learn people’s names and be a person that I have not yet been.


I want to cry.


With each goodbye, I deliver sadness to someone I care about.


I want to cry.


I am embarassed to not be happy enough with all that I have. I can list out far more reasons to stay than to leave and still I will leave.


I want to cry.


I am going to miss my mom and dad and I know they are going to miss me. The second one is sadder to me than the first and I wish it were the other way around because then I would stay.


I want to cry.
I need to cry.
I have to leave.
I hate goodbye.